I agree with Bond and Gabby. We have watched you make a complete circle and repeat the same thought patterns and hashing and surveying possible conversations/actions with your W.

I felt your best chance was after you left EE last time. Your confidence was up and you sounded like a different man. But as once you were home, you lost whatever you had gained.

Your therapist's timing is very bad, if you ask me. It seems she doesn't know anything else to tell you and has started all over again.

Over a year ago, I thought your W wanted to see passion in you and to feel passion in the R. She pushed your buttons for a reason. But that has changed now. She's planning on divorcing you and I don't believe she will welcome your hands anywhere near her. It's really, REALLY bad timing. Besides, why on earth would you want to touch anyone who treated you like your W has treated you all these years? I can't believe you are trying to convince yourself, again, to try it. It's not the answer to the problem here. You become overly focused on something as simple as touching her arm when passing her and it becomes the central goal for you. Then when she does her usual destruction, it throws you for such a loop you don't know how to respond. I think you need to focus on your legal position in the D and began to protect yourself.

In some ways, I can relate to how your W must feel in the MR. There was a time my heart was very cold and I felt a lot of disgust and disrespect for my H. Trying to put myself in your W's place....the best thing my H could have done would have been to fill his time with having a really great time enjoying himself without me. To see him oozing with manly confidence in his walk, talk, and daily behavior. To stand up to me and take zero disrespectful statements/murmurings and other bad behavior directed at him. He would not stand around while I b!thced at him or about anything else. In fact, he would not have spent time in the same room with me if I acted like your W does. He would not have acted like my cook/bottle washer/butler. He would not have done anything "for" me. I would have had to take care of my own needs. He would not have sat at home and waited to see what I was going to do during the day/evening. He would have had his own plans and would not have included me or informed me.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!