Daughters birthday is coming up. I decided to throw her a surprise party. I told W she was welcome to join in and celebrate it with us.
I am trying very hard to live my life in a healthy, happy way. I am conscious of my shortcomings, and I know that I have to actively work on improving myself. That alone is going to help me grow. Plus, I really want to grow and be a better person for myself and the people around me. I am proud of who I am. I always have been. I want to be even prouder. These are things that I am reminding myself of every day, no matter how hard the day is. I still feel a lot of sorrow, but I think that is probably to be expected. From time to time, I still feel a whole lot of anger as well. Just this morning, I woke up thinking about W again. I didn't wake with happy reminiscent dreams. I woke just flat pissed off at how she could do what she has done, not only to me, but mainly to daughter. I know that is just more of the same line of thinking, but I don't believe I have any control of my dreams. They just come out. Waking up feeling this way is not a great way to start a day, but I promise myself that I am going to turn it around and make the best of it. I am going to let that anger go.
TODAY, will be a great day and tomorrow even better!
