I got activities lined up. I'm meeting new people. I'm starting to feel good about myself.

But i'm confused as [censored] right now. I don't know what the hell's wrong.

I'm tearing up as i write this. I want to to hate her but i don't. I want to have her back but i'm not sure i want to. I'm not even mad at seeing OM. I'm glad if they were to get together, my kids will be happy and i f@#$king resent that.
I have learned a lot this last few months and i wish i didn't.
I just wish i didn't change but i can't go back now.

I need closure. I really do.

I'm so f***ed up now

M35 XW34
D5 D4
M 6years T 10years
Bomb 5/2013
Joint Petition signed 6/2013
Moved out end of 8/2013
Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013
D finalized in 3 months - no news yet