I think you're being overdramatic again and not acting as a man should act. PLUS what you're thinking of doing is not going to be a turn on for your W. I mean would you want someone who says they will self-mutilate themselves? That's dumber than dirt, as they say.

Throwing yourself onto a sword and acting the martyr will not do any goo.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER