First off, welcome to the boards. I see that you have been all over the place with your posts, so I encourage you to stick to one thread so that everyone can follow. You'll find no better place to find people who will help you get your M back on track.
Second... "I don't want anyone here to judge me."
If this is how you feel, then I suggest you go elsewhere. If you really want to find out what your W is thinking we will tell you. There are times that it will sound judgemental, HOWEVER it is NOT what you think that matters. It matters what your W thinks. She has judged you and found you to be a poor spouse for whatever reason.
If you are not open to hearing the negatives about things you may have done (even if they were for behavioral problems), then you won't save your M. Even a recovering alcoholic who wants to succeed understands the damage they've caused and are willing to hear and understand the consequences.
You not wanting to be "judged" continues to show how you are putting YOUR needs ahead of your W's.
Your M can be saved and I seriously see a way how you can do it. BUT it requires alot of looking inwards which I have a feeling you're going to be defensive about.
Do you want to save your M or not?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
