T's thought was that touch is what my W wants (something like 'gather your woman in your arms, her secret craving') and that it is a way for me to express my love for her. Yes, it is pursuing, but it is also that which hasn't happened for so long and so a sort of 180. T specifically recommended 180s, and this was the first example that came up.
GM, I've been debating what comes first too. W may be home tomorrow (she doesn't work some Wednesdays), and it is possible that she will ask me if I've had time to think about getting a D. She wants this to be mutual (when all your kids are at least 16 in Sweden, you can instantly get a D if both spouses agree. D turns 16 in early March). I guess this is because of the narrative she wants to create about it.
I can envision a response along the lines of
"I am very sorry for the hurt and loneliness I've caused you. I am not at an emotional place though where I can agree to a D. Doing so would feel like mutilating myself. I hope you understand.'
The first sentence seems very important in the above, as it is intended to validate her feelings and penetrate her heart.
Yes, respect is important in our R. I have prepared a short speech on that, but perhaps a case by case pushback is better.
d15 and W are at their respective schools, house is all quiet.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
