Confused about detaching!!!

[JayMan]

My W said something similar last Sunday. She demanded divorce, said she wouldn't allow a continuance/delay on the divorce. I said, "Ok, whatever you wish".

We went to court Monday; I didn't look at her, didn't speak to her. She texted me that Wednesday and said, "OK, I'll do the delay."

Your H is way messed up - my W actually admitted to me she was messed up. I'd not say a WORD to him from now on.

Just say nothing.

[Feenix]

Good advice, JonF. Just say nothing.
I'm pretty sure I already said too much... but I'll go silent starting now. His texts are increasingly hostile.

[Pudmuddle]

Angela, I didn't decide to have separate bedrooms, my H just moved his stuff out. If he thought you should still share a room I would consider that a bonus. He hasn't thought this through and it seems like he is waffling on you big time. He only asked about the mediation because he feels like after what he's done he has to follow through. Trust me, he has not made a firm decision. He is testing you. Like Jon and JBM said, say nothing now. Hold strong my friend.

[Feenix]

Okay... I texted back longer than I should have... but I finally just stopped responding. Then, after all the hate was spewed at me about what a horrible, lying, malicious, manipulative B I am...with no response from me, He texted "good night."

Thanks to all of you, I'm okay just letting it all go. Thank you all for the support! My heart hurts so much, but, also, it is a huge relief to just get off the Crazy Train for a bit. Whew.

Drinking a glass of wine, reading a good book, and going to bed!

[Pudmuddle]

I thank the universe that my H does not call me names or get very vicious. I'm not sure I could handle that. I think it is the best decision when that happens to let go because they aren't themselves. At least not the person you knew, nor the person they can be, they are stuck. I'm sorry he was so mean to you, that is uncalled for. I think you did the best thing and not respond to his ugliness. It will get him thinking 'well why didn't she get mad or react'. This gives him no reason to find fault with you when you don't react. That is what they are looking for, because of their guilt and bad decisions.

Angela, my friend, you are doing well. Getting stronger every day.

[Feenix]

I really, really hate feeling so anxious.

I've heard nothing from him since he texted "good night"...and I have made no contact with him at all since last night.

My mind racing with a million thoughts about how he could be getting a lawyer right now...he could be cleaning out the house right now (while I'm 30 miles away at work)....and on and on. BUT, thanks to DBing and y'all on here....I'm able to refocus my thoughts on me...and my children...and on my day. At least for a little while.

Several times today, it just feels like I can't breathe. You know?

Part of me is just numb. And I like that. It's better than the hurt.

I want this to work so much. I want a new, better marriage with my H. But, I am so tired of the hate that he spews at me. I'm tired of him being so irrational. I'm tired of the name-calling and character assassinations by him. I'm tired of him blaming everything single thing on me, no matter what.

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm basically a good person and I'm trying to be better. The people who know and love me, know who I really am. But, I HATE that he's out there spreading lies about me to all his 20-something year old single friends. I hate that! They don't even know me..and yet hate me.

This whole things stinks. I kept having a dream last night that I was falling out of the sky, over and over again. Yep, pretty sure that is tied to all this. Don't need Freud to tell me that. Lol.

Anyways, just venting to so I won't be tempted to call or text him.

[Pudmuddle]

I know, the ups and downs are awful. And the dreams! Yes I had those too. Not so much anymore. Just moments of adrenalin waking up.

Yes, remove the focus from him because there is simply nothing you can say or do right now that will prove anything to him.

Focus on the lovely Angela, and the people that do love and support you!

[Feenix]

Argh!!! I'm about to leave work and get a text from H that says, "What do you want me to get out for supper?"

Seriously?! I haven't responded yet. I don't even know how to handle this.

Last night he was officially gone... maybe he just came by to get his stuff. I'm not home so I don't know.

But the guy texting me last night hated my guts. Now he's talking about supper?

[Pudmuddle]

I had to laugh at this...not at you, but my H just called and said Hey stopping by the store, do you need anything? I told him a few things, then he started talking about the snowflakes we saw today. He laughed about something feeling like and old man complaining about the weather. Then he said text me what you need or if you think of anything else. Then I told him I was stopping at Target to pick up a few things for my niece's bridal shower tonight. Nice chitter chatter, but me confused.

It was again, like you said AAAAAAgh. WTH?

[Feenix]

Bawhahahahahahahaha! Well, at least, I got a laugh out of that. Geeeezzzzz! It's madness! Lol.