Working on me

[Not Quitting]

Hi I'm back the weekend went ok and my mum behaved herself, lol. I took her round the cathedral and she said it was one of the best ones she's been to We were in time for evensong and were treated to the full choir and organist She said the music was beautiful and she had tears in her eyes. We went to a little cafe nearby and mum said it's been the best day she's had in a long time
My room was lovely The bed was a bit lumpy, but I was so tired by the time I got to bed that I slept really well I really enjoyed my time and so did my son
The only thing that spoilt it was H ringing me! He went on again about telling my mum that he was a pig and a B******! I told him not to start. He said he wanted my mum to pay for the divorce that he wants and I don't. It all comes down to money again! I told him that if he wants a D, then he's going to have to pay for it! He didn't like that, so he started threatening me with joint custody. He said that my son can choose who he wants to live with now and if anyone came round to the house then they'd give him full custody. Again, he's after the carer's allowance that I get for my son. He then went on to tell me about which bits I've not cleaned and I felt really down.
I tried to cheer myself up for the meal, but I was still feeling a bit miserable. However, after 3 glasses of wine I cheered up a bit, lol.

Welcome back TTD. Glad you had a good weekend and that your mum behaved herself – lol .

After my mum had gone up to bed, I tried to see what I could find online. I came across a women's helpline that deals with physical and emotional abuse. One of the questions was - Does he threaten you? Well the answer was yes. I rang them up and they talked to me over the phone and said that they'll be in touch today. They rang back today and said they didn't cover my town and put me in touch with another group that did! A few hours later someone rang me and has offered me emotional and practical support. It sounds like a counselling service and the practical support sounds interesting Maybe they'll give me a cleaner, lol.

I’m also glad that you took this step. Having been on the other side (policing side that is) I know that getting some women to take this step is often near impossible. Emotional abuse is lot harder to prove than physical abuse which makes it worse as well – invisible scars. Bullying is a form of abuse and I’m glad you have acknowledged it . Wish my youngest sister would.

This women's support doesn't contact H at all which is good /quote]
Of course they won’t, but they will be able to provide or point you to any support and help you need. And if worse comes to worst, they can help with getting you and your son into a shelter, or any other protection you might need. Don’t ever regret taking that step – you’re doing the right thing.

[quote=TryingToDo180] I was worried all morning as my H took my son out and I thought when I saw my son next he would announce that he is moving in with dad However he didn't thank goodness, but I had to wait until I saw my son at 4.15pm. It was a day of waiting and has left me physically and mentally exhausted. Physically exhausted because I didn't get to bed until late and although I got some quality sleep it wasn't enough!

Tiredness can make a bad sitch seem worse. Your son is old enough to be considered an adult but with his autism it is possible that the courts wouldn’t see it that way. If he’s like my oldest nephew, it is medically documented that his mental age is not as old as his physical age, which can be taken into account in the courts if it comes to it. Now that you’ve contacted the women’s support group, they should be able help out there as well.

You can do this. You’ve got the PMA – and we’re all allowed a bad day once in a while. Remember you’re not alone – you’ve always got your friends here to give you the moral support you need .