I have posted in a much longer thread describing my situation. Basically, my wife filed last week in Pasadena to dissolve our marriage and she is adamantly digging in our heels, offering to buy me out of the house and even co-sign on a property in Studio City so she can raise the kids without me.
Mostly, she is citing ten years of emotional and verbal abuse. It's not quite abuse as in ad hominem attacks but angry, controlling, jealous rage and manipulation on my part. I've been a terrible person, but I do love her.
I don't want anyone here to judge me.
I was on medication the whole time she has known me but I never got the proper psychotherapy.
I believe I can control my mood swings, which closely resemble bipolar disorder, but aren't quite that. I do not want to be manipulative and controlling and if I knew I had a chance at the marriage I might be willing to turn over a new leaf permanently.
My question is, what are some tips for DBing while my spouse may actually love me but is divorcing me due to past and recent manipulative and controlling behavior. Can six months of excellent non-crappy behavior overshadow ten years of perceived awfulness.
N.B.: She spent two hours on the phone last night with my mom, worried about my medical condition (I'm in a bad mental state but am getting help) and saying things like "I want him to be well for his next relationship" and "I want him to be well for the kids." and "I am still divorcing him but want him to be well"
Additionally, she has had a history of saying somewhat angry things so we kind of set each other off sometimes.
Can this actually be helped or am I in the minority of marriages that should end?
We've both lawyered up -- she paid $14,000 and I paid $5,000. I still can't believe my wife is suing me.
If she says she "cares about" me and want us to "be friends" and "be amicable" after the divorce what does all that mean?
