AS - this might sound a little lame but how do I do that?
I hinted at it earlier- just ask her how she feels about the M, if she's still in the same place. Ask her if she feels sure of things or if she is confused and needs more time. Try to get her to talk about how she feels. No matter what her response is, show her validation. For instance, if she says she feels angry that you haven't moved on, don't defend yourself. Just tell her "yes I can tell you're angry, I'm sorry you feel that way." You just acknowledge her feelings, that's "validation".
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All I want the email to do is tell her I still love her
I guarantee you she knows that, but if you feel you must remind her then just keep it short and sweet- "I just want you to know that I still love you" or "I still have strong feelings for you" or something like that. Again like Sandi's tips say, "no ILY" but if you're going to do it anyway then keep it brief.
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So my question is how do I show her what she feels and wants?
You don't show her, you try to get her to tell you how she feels. We men are "fixers" (some women too), we want women to tell us what's wrong and then we can tell them how to "fix" it. That's not what they want though! They want to be heard, really listened to, and validation is a way to show that you're listening intently.
Before you were married, did you ever have a girlfriend that you broke up with that went into "clingy" mode? The more you pushed her away, the more she pursued? I did, and let me tell you, the harder she tried the more I wanted her out of my life. The more mushy and romantic she got the more turned off I was. THAT is how the WAS views a clingy LBS. They don't like it when the LBS pursues them, in fact they may find it repulsive, weak and pathetic. I had another GF that I broke up with, and when I did she said "OK, maybe it's for the best" and that was it, she never tried to contact me again. That left me wondering why she was so quick to walk away, and after a couple of weeks I actually started pursuing her again!! So while your heart tells you to pursue, it will actually have the opposite effect of what you want.
