Digging In 2

[NTX_Dad]

2nd - It's been a while since I've read the book and endured my sitch, but I believe if the WAS pursues the LBS you are supposed to politely distance yourself from them. The pursuing won't last, it's just a fleeting moment. Sometimes it's intentional to see if they still have you "on the hook".

In all honestly, getting together to work on the problems won't fix the problems, in my humble opinion. Following that route simply makes this sitch and "extended fight" that got out of hand. I think eventually both sides would go right back to the same behaviors and patterns that got them to this point in the first place..... and who wants that? The next time will be even more painful and costly.

I don't know Jon at all and can only go by the posts on here. Reading through the posts leads me to conclude that he too is confused and not just the WAS. And since this is Jon's second "stich" maybe there's something about Jon that Jon needs to learn about himself. Maybe he was unlucky and married two "flakes", but it's also possible there's something about Jon that Jon needs to figure out.

I know going dim and GAL seems like the wrong thing to do, it's counter-intuitive. I felt the same way when I went through my sitch. But as a survivor I can now look back and see that going dim is actually what helped me learn about plant the seeds for our marriage to be successful and loving.