She asked if I would be willing to share time away so that each of us can have time alone with the kids and so it won't be that mom is always leaving for a few days at a time.
I agreed to that and said I'm more than willing to work with you on all of this. I'm not your adversary and have no intention of being difficult. I guess I'll have to earn your trust.
Then I said we can work through this. You don't need to rush everything and get a divorce now. She said, I'm not going to run out tomorrow and file. I want to make sure we can make this the least disruptive for the kids as possible while we figure out what we're doing about separating or divorcing.
So, what is my next step? Distance? Give her space? DB my Arse off? GET A LIFE my arse off?
I want to make the most out of this opportunity.
Please help!!!!
DD,
Your next step is to come here BEFORE saying ANYTHING to your wife regarding legal moves, finances, custody, etc.
Your stock answer right now needs to be "I have some decisions to make; we can talk later about these things" and "Looks like we both have some decisions to make."
And stop disrespecting your wife's decision. When you try to disagree with what she's doing, that's about the most UN-validating thing you can do. Just say "Look, I didn't want a divorce and I don't want one now, but I DO hear you, and I'm not going to stand in your way."
I'm sorry this has come to this, but you need to be VERY careful how you handle these next steps. Frankly you are not (and none of us were!!!) in an emotional state right now that is conducive to potentially life-changing decision-making.
None of this is going anywhere anytime soon. Deep breaths . . . and PLAN.
