It's not your job to make him feel better about his poor, hurtful choices to his family.
I tried to write more, but I really can't say it any more plainly than that. He's looking to have your "permission" to lie and cheat and destroy his family. I pray you won't give him that. In the meantime, I would strongly encourage you to learn a few "truth darts" to deliver to him:
- "I'm sorry, it's not my job to make you feel better about the destructive things you are doing to our family."
- "I've decided that I'm no longer willing to lie to cover up your affair."
- "I love you, and I didn't want a divorce, but I have decided that I need to start doing what is best for me and the kids. There's been a lot of damage done here."
Finally, if he pressed you for what you're going to say or do (and I can see he's already doing that, and it will only increase most likely), say:
- "Honestly, do you REALLY think I owe you an explanation right now? I have a lot of thinking to do, and things to get done, so please respect my privacy in all of this."
He's basically FIRED you from being his wife, and he's ripped apart his family for -- and he ADMITS this -- selfish reasons. It's time to start protecting yourself -- and your children -- from the damage he's done.
It's time to learn the whole "Mamabear" thing, Abbey. Your kids are going to need it.
