Thank you CP!! You don't know how much it means to me to get your responses. They're so helpful. I love how positive you are. I hope your H wakes up to what a catch you are. His loss if he doesn't...
I know exactly what you mean about debating. We've been in the right-fighting mode ourselves for a long time and I now know how detrimental it can be to a relationship. At times you think it's good, b/c it shows that you at least "care" enough to debate but over the long haul the debates get exhausting and most never get properly resolved. Now I know how important it is to choose battles wisely, throw out the scoreboard and agree to disagree often.
I feel like I'm in a pretty good place right now, but it feels kinda odd to not be "fighting" for my M as I see us going right to the D process, you know? We're getting ready to get legal and though I'm sure it's not going to happen overnight, I never dreamed I'd be here. I guess it's at least good to know I'm not alone, though I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.
Regardless, I'm thankful that we're getting along through it all - esp. for our kids' sake. I'm finding that DBing has helped me come to a place where I can be OK with any outcome, be more relaxed about the sitch overall and still have a great life.
My big challenge right now is loneliness. I don't want to get into a new R right now and have a lot of guy friends, but I do miss closeness and good conversations with women my age. I'm trying to figure out ways to make new friends which is proving more difficult than during my college days. I know I have a lot of other stuff on my plate though and there's plenty of time for this...
Everything in its own time!!
Hang in there CP! You sound great!
ETC
"Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
