H everyone, I have been following along and have one comment with regards to possible confrontation or interaction with OM.

DR does not get into tactically plays much because Michelle is a fan of focusing on yourself and becoming the husband only a fool would leave. And I think I agree with that, as you all seem to.

But it is interesting to note that some other programs would have you message the OM so that he knows you are aware. This serves several purposes.

1. It can start the end of the A if OM never wanted something serious. This makes it all serious and sometimes too much for the OM.

2. It bursts the bubble they are both living in.

3. This last point is clever. Usually the wife has painted a picture of this loveless marriage to the OM to relieve his guilt. By making him aware that you love your wife and want to work it out with her, you make him wonder if everything his affair partner has told him about you and your marriage is all lies. Most OM don't have much of a consience but if he does, this could make him back off.

At the end of the day, it is your decision. I think if it were me I would wait a little and see how it plays out. Just don't let it come out in an emotional way during an argument or you may look weak and seem to consent to it as you put it.

Me, H-34 now 38
W-32 now 35
T-13 now 18 years
M-6 now 9
Daughter 3 years now 7
Bomb 11/27/12 - OM
1 year in house separation
Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017