He's the confused one...

[BRNR]

So an update...

I sent STB EX H an email regarding a doctors appt the boys have this week. i sent this email two weeks ago and indicated that the appointment was during his visitation and to please let me know how he wanted it handled. Well, I got no response...here is the exchange of email...it wasn't good.

ON 10/4/13 - H, S14 and S10 have a dental cleaning schedule for 10/16/13 at 5:45 and 6:30 at DENTIST on STREET. Please advise how you want to handle that since it is on a Wednesday night (during your visitation). Thanks.

ON 10/13/13 - H, Second request. Please advise or I will make a decision. Thanks. BRNR

BRNR - You will have to reschedule it to a day the boys are not with me. Wednesdays and Thursdays are my time with them. Thanks. H

H, Not rescheduling. Your time with them also needs to involve medical and other priorities. Either I take them and you forgo the time or you take them. Another option is to give me sole custody of the kids. Since you wanted joint, this is also your responsibility as thier parent.BRNR

BRNR,I don't have a problem taking the boys to doctor or dentist or physician visits during my time with them. You should know that of all people. I was the one who did it all the time, remember? I will not forgo my time on Wednesday with them and I will not be taking them to the dentist that day. You scheduled a dentist visit on my time without approval and expect me to comply. I have something planned on that day with them and you will have to reschedule. It's my time and you do not have the right to tell me how to spend it with them. You will not be getting full custody of the boys. It is joint custody as the court said. Since I am paying for the boys medical coverage which includes dental, the least you could do is take them. And take them on a day that is on your time. Thanks. H

H, It's not about you, it's about the kids. I will not be responsible for all the business arrangements of the kids that you "pay for". They are people not your toys to play with when you feel it is convenient. This appointment has been scheduled for months which I notified you about several months ago. I have the email where you said you had no problems taking them. Get off your f'ing a$$ and be a f'king parent you douche bag. File the f'ing divorce already and move to f'ing CITY with the b1tch you left me for, and let's call it a day. BRNR

Now before I get hit with the 2x4's, yes, I know I was wrong. But I am maxed with not only the finacial responsibilities of our children, but I have been doing everything for them while H plays Disney Dad. I lost it, I am human, and I learned from it. So no 2x4's needed, I gave myself a good lashing yesterday.

On other matters, I confided in my SisIL, about the situation. Her and H have never gotten along and she has her own custody things she deals with so I asked for advice. She said he was crazy and I needed to stand my ground. So the line is in the sand I guess maybe even a little of a boundary. I haven't had to set one of those in a long while.
But interestingly, my SIL told me on her own that H confided to his mom, (my MIL) that things aren't working out with OW and he is not moving and they are done.

So, where does that leave me, it doesn't. I want nothing to do with H. He has all kinds of other issues that I don't want to be involved in. Creditors are coming at him left and right, his car is probably going to be repo'd soon due to not paying, and he is on the verge of losing his job. Not someone I want in my life. Besides the love is really lost at this point. I am over it and him. I am looking to a brighter future.

So, I just posted, because after going silent on H for months (3.5 I believe) this was our first exchange.

But, ya know. Reality is setting in on him hard. And it looks like rock bottom for him his near. Maybe he will start to climb out of that dark hole soon. Here is to wishing H the best in that.

Til next time.