One giant leap forward! - Part 8

[T1000]

For a brief moment I wondered what her game is. I thought is she warming up? Is she wanting something from me?

Out of my control, keep going.

Excellent! (And ditto what labug said.)

-PM

Thanks PM!

[sandi2]

She should have something very special from her Uncle T. The new parents might love something small in size and that would be a sweet keepsake. Maybe something that has her name engraved and date of her arrival with new family?
Whatever you get, let it show you put some thought into it. I don't recommend life-size teddy bears or such (that men seem to like to buy when they can't think of anything else - ).

[T1000]

Thanks Sandi,

I walked past some massive teddy bears yesterday, looked at them for a few seconds and walked on!

[labug]

I agree with no life-size stuffed animals, not a gift in my eyes.

Maybe we can make that Sandi's 38th rule.

[T1000]

I agree with no life-size stuffed animals, not a gift in my eyes.

Maybe we can make that Sandi's 38th rule.

[T1000]

Thursday I met met new niece, very cute and shy. Got a cuddle after 1.5 hours.

Friday was my wedding anniversary, I was aware of it but didn't find it that hard for the most part.
In the evening just before I put S4 to sleep he asked for a cuddle, he hugged me so tight and for a long time. After a while I brought him forward to look at his face and his eyes were streaming and his bottom lip was out. S4 never really shows quiet emotion, he normally scream or moans or has a blank expression. It broke my heart seeing this. I brought him back me again and hugged him and stroked his head telling him Daddy loves him.
It was brutal! It's setting me off writing this.

We kept busy over the weekend, we went to watch a football game, went to 3 parks and a train exhibition. Very busy and quite tired. Kids loved it.

Took the kids back on the Sunday, I told W about S4 on Friday getting upset, she said they miss me and that is why they have been Skyping more. She said it would be good if they could see me more. I wanted to throttle her. I just said I don't what more I can do, she muttered something but I didn't bite and I left after saying bye to the kids. It was something to make me feel even more guilty.

W has been in more contact recently. Sent me a pic of the kids on Saturday night while I had the kids. I didn't say anything.
She texted me last night to ask what I am getting S1 for his birthday. I replied and asked what she has got him. We texted a few times mainly discussing the kids and things we have been doing with them.
She mentioned that the place she was going next weekend with the kids is the vacation spot we normally go to (about an hour away from me) and if I wanted to visit S1 on his birthday I can do. I didn't respond to that part.
I don't want to go there while they are there but I would like to see S1. I don't know if W is still with OM2 and if he will be there, not sure how to ask that question. I would love some input on this.

W mentioned that it breaks her heart knowing how much they miss me and she will try her best to ensure us three are as close as possible.
I didn't send anything back to this as I was full of anger ready to spew about her not trying her best at anything but I left it.

I have had quite a lot of contact with a few different woman online and such. The promiscuous one I have told her I'm not ready as she was full on and too much for me.
Talking to one girl and she was asking how often I see the kids. I told her 3 out of 4 weekends and she said that is impressive as most guys wouldn't be so bothered. When she found out about the driving she was even more impressed. Being told that by a single mother of 2 young boys that also works really gave me a PMA boost.

I'm having some mixed emotions lately. I go from brimming with PMA to slightly dpressed, it doesn't take much to spring out of it though. I'm getting better at being my own cheerleader.

[Fartiltre]

Hi T

Good to hear from you!

This one is great! I will try to look at myself this way

I'm getting better at being my own cheerleader.

I don't know if W is still with OM2 and if he will be there, not sure how to ask that question. I would love some input on this.

Well, what do you know?
As I recall you saw something on FB but also that you do not know that much anyway.
Has W ever mentioned OM2?

Somebody will properly tell me/you that this isn’t of any importance but it would be to me. Still the XW and I would be curious and interested in knowing what goes on around her and especially the children.

I have made an agreement several years ago with XW1 that if S10 was introduced to somebody we would tell upfront.
If you are not attending the birthday I recommend that you just leave it be for now.

I didn't send anything back to this as I was full of anger ready to spew about her not trying her best at anything but I left it.

Well done!
If at some point you want to speak then find a time without anger.

It was brutal! It's setting me off writing this.

I can almost feel your hurt! I have had experiences like this sometimes now and it kills a bit of me every time. You did the only thing we can do: Love them unconditionally and show them!


It sounds like an emotional weekend, T!
You are doing great in handling yourself.
You are a great father and I can see why this lady boosted your PMA – but T, this is who you are and have been for so long!


Stay strong!

F

[LuckyLuke]

Hola T1000,

It seems most straightforward to just say that if there is another man there, you would feel uncomfortable/sad/angry/etc, and whether you need to be concerned. I know having another guy present when I see my kids would make it very difficult - an invasion of my sphere - and I would not accept it.

Good luck -

Luke

[T1000]

Hi T

Good to hear from you!

This one is great! I will try to look at myself this way

I'm getting better at being my own cheerleader.

I don't know if W is still with OM2 and if he will be there, not sure how to ask that question. I would love some input on this.

Well, what do you know?
As I recall you saw something on FB but also that you do not know that much anyway.
Has W ever mentioned OM2?

Somebody will properly tell me/you that this isn’t of any importance but it would be to me. Still the XW and I would be curious and interested in knowing what goes on around her and especially the children.

I have made an agreement several years ago with XW1 that if S10 was introduced to somebody we would tell upfront.
If you are not attending the birthday I recommend that you just leave it be for now.

Hi F,

She has never mentioned him. I could create a Facebook account and go snooping but I don't want to. I don't want to snoop and I don't want to subject myself to anything that could rock my PMA.

I'm fine asking any question, I'm just curious to what other people think that question should be.

I didn't send anything back to this as I was full of anger ready to spew about her not trying her best at anything but I left it.

Well done!
If at some point you want to speak then find a time without anger.

It was brutal! It's setting me off writing this.

I can almost feel your hurt! I have had experiences like this sometimes now and it kills a bit of me every time. You did the only thing we can do: Love them unconditionally and show them!

Yes, that is all we can do. It's horrible to rationlize it by thinking he will get used to missing me though.

It sounds like an emotional weekend, T!
You are doing great in handling yourself.
You are a great father and I can see why this lady boosted your PMA – but T, this is who you are and have been for so long!


Stay strong!

F

You're right. Just something about hearing it from two attractive woman in a similar situation to my W but also work on top of their busy lives.

Thanks for the input F!

[T1000]

Hola T1000,

It seems most straightforward to just say that if there is another man there, you would feel uncomfortable/sad/angry/etc, and whether you need to be concerned. I know having another guy present when I see my kids would make it very difficult - an invasion of my sphere - and I would not accept it.

Good luck -

Luke

Thanks for the input Luke.

I'm fine asking "who is going or who will be there?" I don't feel the need to justify my reasons to W. If I do ask it needs to be catch all. Not one wear she can say it will just be them but loser2 is there but just around the corner.

I have got used to the fact that I won't see him on his birthday. I woud still like to but I'm not going anywhere near if OM2 is there.
It concerns me how the kids would react to me turning up for an hour or two then leaving. They would enjoy the time but also get great stress from me leaving so shortly without them again.