2nd - believe me, I sat around a fire tonight with 15-20 good friends, and realized how insanely blessed I am. It was honestly that realization that hammered home to me that I was ready.
Planet - right now, 17 and 19 have served me well this last week, although all of them are good. I think it's the first time I've said "I love you" in a long time, and it just felt right as I let go. 41 is dead on, and I will memorize that tonight.
I am NOT going to get pulled in on false hopes. W has said stuff like this before, even if she's never said, "I love you".
I will NOT contact her, I swear to you all. If I hear from her, I'll pass it along.
