In and out of fog city

[2Times2Many]

Hello 2nd. Sorry that you are here.

I've read your entire thread and I am confused.

I understand your desire to help your wife. You see a loved one in trouble and your instinct is to reach out and help. I feel the same way about by WAH.

But, from your thread, it looks like, with a couple of exceptions, anytime she reaches out to you, you are there to meet her needs. What impetus is there for her to come back into the R if she can get her needs met, by you, outside of the M?

From a woman's perspective, if I could get a man to meet with my needs without having to give much of anything in return, why would I want to pursue him? Why would I want to repair what is broken? From my perspective, I would figure that if I didn't have to put much into the R to get what I need, why put forth the effort.

I think the formula here is a good one. Be unavailable at times, be mysterious, let them wonder about you instead of the other way around. Set your boundaries and let her see what those boundaries are.

Maybe, as a newbie, I am wrong. But, this is my second time around the block with the same H and I think my biggest mistake was not setting my boundaries the first time we went through this.

Be strong ... let go. And focus on what is good in your life - right now. Let her realize what she may be losing and find her own path back to you. It is working for me. H is pursing me now, instead of the other way around. H is realizing what he is throwing by the wayside.

I will say a prayer for you. I hope that your WAW will find her way back to you. You sound like a good, decent man that doesn't deserve this.

I wish you all the best.