Not that this changes anything on my part, I guess, but I can't imagine staying with such lousy treatment for much longer. If only there were some glimmer of warmth, an even mildly friendly word, or a small change from this seemingly inevitable march to our mutual funeral. Perhaps a D is best, much as I hate the idea.
If her heart is indeed closed, then why do you subject yourself to "such lousy treatment". Aren't you worth more than that, Lucky? And, you really have to stop searching for signs of life. If they are there, they'll make themselves known. You are really punishing yourself, and to what end? Hasn't your W done enough punishing? Isn't it time to pick up the pieces and see what the next chapter looks like?
Quote:
My birthday is in early December. I still have 7 days of vacation to take before Christmas - as daughter has said no to any trips, I guess these will need to be by myself (and I would so like to show the kids more of the world and connect better with them before they are too old).
Why not go on vacation by yourself. Do something you have always wanted to do. Don't talk yourself out of it, just go. The kids will come around in their time.
Six months after BD, I went with friends to Spain. Totally on a whim with very little planning. Loved the experience and, truth be known, the trip helped me imagine a life beyond my miserable existence. And I had new stories to tell. The old ones were getting, well...old!
Carpe Diem!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
