I just feel like there has been an irrevocable decision made (not that I can directly affect it anyway... she said "nothing you can do will change my mind"), and W has closed all avenues leading to her heart. I was dark for nearly a month, and then come back to the same hostility and rejection.
Not that this changes anything on my part, I guess, but I can't imagine staying with such lousy treatment for much longer. If only there were some glimmer of warmth, an even mildly friendly word, or a small change from this seemingly inevitable march to our mutual funeral. Perhaps a D is best, much as I hate the idea.
My birthday is in early December. I still have 7 days of vacation to take before Christmas - as daughter has said no to any trips, I guess these will need to be by myself (and I would so like to show the kids more of the world and connect better with them before they are too old).
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
