Well, Pud, I agree with AS's description, but I think sometimes getting that all out isn't bad. If it's all a screaming match, it may not accomplish anything, but if you had a chance to do any validating or change any of the old dynamics, I think that's a positive. There obviously was something different if H ended up hugging you.
I would say that sometimes a healthy venting that ends at least somewhat positively can be a stress outlet and get a bunch of garbage and resentment out. I'm not recommending it, and it certainly doesn't fit in DB principles, but I'm glad you started right back the next day with PMA! Now, maybe a BETTER way next time is to have the venting with your IC!
Good for you for "baking on it" - there is a lot of resentment and pushiness in your letter. Personally, if my W was still in the house, I think our relationship dynamic would be much better; so make sure you're VERY ready to ask him to go.
