Had the big Bomb Drop early this year and was told that my H no longer loves me and does not have the feelings for me, as he thinks he should. Here are some of the statements that I have heard from my WAS: we married too young, the sparks just aren't there, I no longer love you, I don't know if I can imagine my future with you, I am not happy, I have been unhappy for years and kept it to myself.
He hid his unhappiness from me for years, 'playing along' and trying to work it out on his own. After the big bomb drop, of course I did everything you are not supposed to do, beg, plead, reason, bargain, guilt trip, etc. We did marriage counseling for a few months, which, ultimately, brought us to a near demise.
We ended counseling on the note of him saying that he wanted to separate. The next morning, he told me that he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay together or separate. Thus, the dreaded LIMBO! We stayed in limbo all summer long. It was an awful experience to go through. For the most part he was moody and distant, acting depressed. He seemed a million years away.
In September he told me he wanted to separate, and that he was certain. He moved in temporarily at his brother's apartment. I watched our 3 young children at home, as I am currently a SAHM. He would have a visit with them a couple evenings out of the week and on weekends.
I set some ground rules with him, like call before he heads over, etc.
I re-claimed the bedroom and moved all of his clothes out.
I had a consultation with a lawyer, and the bank, to start to get the separation agreement in order.
He had a house all lined up to start renting.
We told the children what was going on, that mom and dad needed space and time away from each other.
Then,
He told me he was re-considering working on things. He had done a lot of thinking while we are separated and talked to a few people.
A couple more weeks passed and then we had another conversation about our relationship. He is not ready to move back in quite yet. He wants to make sure we pinpoint the areas where we went wrong, and not go back to having the same problems. He says he is worried about how to go about moving forward. I am getting the impression that he is looking to me for answers on what to do next. Also, he mentioned that he is going to start IC.
Now, he wants to have another talk next week where we voice any concerns we have, and talk about what our next steps would be. I am a little worried about how this is going to go. I seriously think he is taking notes! lol. I guess that's a good sign that he is being so diligent.
In the meantime, I am going to talk to my DB coach and hopefully gain some clarity about what happens next in this process and what we should be doing.
-Cp
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
We stayed in limbo all summer long. It was an awful experience to go through. For the most part he was moody and distant, acting depressed. He seemed a million years away. 
