Thanks for the comments. I have been away from the boards from a while. Yes, finances are a huge deal. Trouble is when I sought legal advice I was told no judge would pass on half of the marital debt to someone on benefits....and the child support agency will not consider debt as part of their calc on maintenance. I have known this all along...it is basically a lose, lose all round! Because I got some jobs done on the house W thinks I have found a pot of gold!
She now thinks I am hiding money from her and my sitch is pretty much fast forwarding into D because she wants what she is entitled to....she has even had the house valued (behind my back) to see if there is equity in it and is talking about pushing to sell it. There is very little equity (no where near to pay off the debts) which has built up over the last 12 months as house prices have increased v slightly.
All this also coincides with the fact that W gets a mobility car for son which is up for renewal....and guess what, she wants a fancy car like we had before because I paid the deposit on it.
In short no, not managing to keep up a PMA. Am fuming with W.
My old boss also contacted me last weekend and offered me a job in Dubai for a six figure salary. I am seriously tempted but deep down know I can't leave S....but it would sort the finances out!
W is the only person that I know that can leave a M, upgrade the house, still have holidays abroad and have not cut in lifestyle....all on what seems to be a very generous benefits system. Don't get me wrong I don't want S to live like a pauper. But it is a backward system that means the working person is fleeced whilst the person who did not work has never had it so good financially.
So, at the moment I have no plan for this. I am keeping conversations with W short to avoid me telling her exactly what I think.
Rant over, I should know that she is selfish, that it is about her and that she won't give my financial sitch a second thought...I was warned often enough about this time last year!!!
But if we carry on down this path I see no point of return. W thinks I am lying to her re money, I can't stand the sight of her at the moment.
