Thank you my forum friends!

[chasingpavements]

FY, I think I would like him to move back soon. I would like to have him in the same house. I'm sure after our talk I will have a better idea of where he is sitting with all of this. I think that he would like to talk more about things before he is ready to move in.

Yesterday he told me he would like to sit down and talk about where we think things went wrong, and what we can do differently. He doesn't want us to make the same mistakes again. I have a feeling he is going to come with a big laundry list of issues that he has with me and what I have done wrong. I am used to getting defensive when talking to him and I have the tendency to shut down his ideas or start debating with him, etc. I used to be on the debate team in school.. it comes naturally to me! I really need to work on 'VALIDATING'. I have been getting better at that.

Sometimes I think I let my resentment get the best of me. I get into the mindset that I have been in so much pain from the last 7 months, and I tend to think, 'how dare you say that after all you have put me through!!'. I need to stop thinking that and just realize that we both contributed to the breakdown in the marriage. And just work on listening to his concerns without being defensive.

I also think he is going to look to me for answers on how to move forward with everything and, truth is, I don't know! Hopefully my session with the DB coach will help with that.

I think what we are most looking for now is getting that connection and love back.