Going dark will be hard because I will miss my kids dearly.
Sorry, I should clarify that when kids are involved it's "dim" rather than "dark". Do continue to communicate regarding the kids, just don't expand it past that. I think it was Mach that used to say only discuss "bills and boys".
Bills and boys, It not what I had planned in life but if that what it takes, its what I have to do.
Feeling lonely this Canada holiday weekend, there gone away for for 5 days and it's not fun being home alone. All my friends have family commitments and its just a reminder of how much im missing in life.
I am volunteering as a timekeeper at a Cancer fundraiser Enduro tomorrow so that should be a fun time and keep my mind off missing my family.
Time and patience... DB'ing is tough!
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Checking in Maritimer.........be honest about the time alone. We've all been there
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Hey Positivespin! Not much new in my sitch, she is still cold towards me but im use to now and don't let it bother me.
One issue that arose was while playing with the boys my youngest took out his "who loves baby" picture book. Its a little foam book that has pictures of family in it. My 2 pictures were taken out! The worse part was him pointing "Daddy Daddy" on the blank pages! It broke my heart When W returned & asked what happened to my pictures and she didn't know.. I smiled and said I'll bring over some new ones to replace them. I bet she wasn't expecting that reaction.
Minimal chat when im there, all PMA from my end.
My grandmother going down hill quick and is on her last days. Im taking a trip home to the Rock to see my family. It will be a sad vacation but im looking forward to getting away.
Continuing working on myself, lost a total of 57 pounds and feel great. Not sure if DB'ing will help my marriage but it really helped me become a better person.
Thanks to all who are helping me with my journey!
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
I got to see may Nan 2 days before she passed. It was a bitter sweet trip to my homeland. Got to see lots of friends and family I never seen in a while, all asking hows the wife & kids. Told them they were great but felt a bit embarrassed saying were separated. The same thing is happening home, plenty of family's breaking up. Why is this so common these days?
Not much new between the W & I. She dont seem as angry when I go over to see the kids. She is still short on words when communicating, as if I were someone she just met. No texts from her just one word replys when I inquire about the boys.
Tonight I am attending a support group for separated single parents. Only problem is that its my night to visit the kids. I will request to switch my visitation to tomorrow, hopefully it wont cause any drama. Still fearful of her responses when asking her questions.
I appreciate the thoughts and encouragement Pudmuddle!
Continuing working on being the husband only a fool will leave! I really think I am becoming awesome
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Last night I attended a support group for single parents. It was good to see some local people that are going through the same feelings as me. I was only male there, felt a bit weird about that. It does that make question If am weak by wanting to get as much help as I can to move forward. Most advice I get from my married buddies is to hook up with as many ladies possible & that would build confidence and forget about the W. I trust their judgment in engines & mechanics but not in love.
Just noticed that my W is using her maiden name with her work Email. That takes effort as she works for a big company. It did sting me to see that, were not divorced yet but all signs are pointing that way. This Dec will be a year and I am dreading getting any legal papers. What else can I do?
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Still getting plenty of attitude when I don’t think I do anything wrong, The W is now upset that I am taking the boys for the flu shot tonight! I thought she would be glad that I am doing it instead of her taking time off work to do it herself. Could it be an control issue? Nothing I do seem to make her happy, not that I did it for brownie points, it was just something that needed to get done.
With this and her recent name change Hope is starting to diminish. Maybe its because it's nearly a year and her attitude towards me seems to be worse.
I worked so hard to be a much better person, so many people in my life including myself are so proud of my changes. Guess Im a bit disappointed that she never changed her view of me. Any ideas on what else I could do?
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
You and I are in the same spot W wise ....I may be a bit ahead with GAL but you went to a support group- awesome job there!
All my friends want me to "hook up" too. I look really good now but I/We need to use this time to make sure our kids lives are grounded. My wife is running around- Im a DAD!
"hooking up" would distract. Ive watched my wife spend hrs texting with 100% focus and zero attention given to D3.85. My little girl was literally playing toys around her legs while my W was screwing around with her iphone.
Besides......nothing good happens when you start "looking" for someone. Go Dim. design your life 5 years from now and start working towards it- if she decides to join you ...AWESOME!. If not you will be living the life YOU created having survived a disaster
Im jealous of the support group
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
My W is doing the same thing with her phone! She holds it in her bra.. All the while placing the kids in front of the TV. When im there its continuous playtime, reading books, bathing them, then putting the youngest to bed. Its my favorite part of the day!
Your lucky that she is granting you overnight access. Most of the time I see the kids its at her place. I dont feel comfortable there, Kinda like im intruding..
As for the support group I was nervous at first, its a real diverse group. Looking forward to it now. Only problem its on the same night I see the boys. I hate to bring up a scheduling change in case it dont go over well.
I dont see peoples replys on my thread until a few days after they are posted? I checked all weekend and only seen your reply today on the 18th? Does this happen to anyone else?
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
When W returned & asked what happened to my pictures and she didn't know.. I smiled and said I'll bring over some new ones to replace them. I bet she wasn't expecting that reaction.