Me: "I'm confused. From Sunday to Wednesday I didn't contact you at all. Wednesday you texted me about the stay, and I only texted you a couple of times. Today, YOU invited me over for coffee. I stayed less than an hour, and when I left, YOU said I didn't have to go, and for me to just stay. We hugged one time. I left anyway because I needed to work. Later, I dropped off S5, and YOU said, "Hey, why don't you guys stay awhile, you don't have to leave, but we left because we had chores to get caught up."
Jon Jon Jon Jon JON!! There you go trying to reason with her again, explaining HER behavior to HER. How did that work out for ya last time? And the time before? Brother, you have got to break out of your "more of the same" behavior. Either STFU or validate.
Quote:
W: "Well, you were too clingy. Now quit texting me."
I called her and left a VM just trying to validate that I understand there is a lot going on.
WHAT? WHY? She just told you that you're too clingy, and so you go all uber-clingy on her in response! By the way, telling her "a lot is going on" is not validation, and in fact her comment to you did not express an emotion on her part, so there was nothing there to validate. Silence would have been the appropriate response.
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I said that I was confused by her perception of the day, and that I'd prefer to understand why she felt that way, but otherwise to have a nice weekend. It was hard, I wanted to yell in the phone, "Good lord, woman, what is wrong with you!!??" But I didn't.
Actually that's exactly what you said, you just phrased it a little differently. It was just as inappropriate though.
Quote:
I AM confused.
Are you? Do you expect a WAS to behave in logical, predictable, rational ways?
Listen to us Jon. Quit falling back into old behavior patterns. They're not moving you or your sitch forward. We're rooting for you, but YOU have to do the work. So far you're not!
