Thank you my forum friends!

[chasingpavements]

Strange turn of events??

So H and I had a discussion Monday about moving forward with our relationship again and working on our issues as a couple. We have been separated exactly a month now. In the beginning, I thought our separation was final, and we were headed toward divorce. Then, he hinted about having a change of heart. Then on Monday he said he wanted to work on things. Now we are in the process of figuring out how to move forward with everything.

My question is.... when would be an appropriate time for him to move back in (assuming he wants to)? How long should we give it? Should we do some counseling before he moves back? Should we start out slowly, like he comes home on weekends for a bit? Should we start dating/going out with each other again?

I realize that we are going to have to put a lot of effort into figuring out where things went wrong in our relationship, and fixing them. We are both going to do IC. We both agree that things are going to have to change and we don't want to go back to how things were before.

Is it too soon for him to move back in?

I asked him if he wanted to have a quick talk today when he was over. He said he would like to talk after the long weekend. I asked why and he said that he would like to have a nice long, unrushed talk about everything, and moving forward. This is a strange experience for me. My H, the non-talker/distancer, is all of the sudden wanting to have R talks with me?

Now he has me worried! lol. I haven't talked to my counselor yet about all of this and I am worried that I will not have any answers for him right away, about how fast we should be moving.