It's been a crazy morning here at work, which is why I'm a little later than usual in logging in and posting.
Meredith, Pam and CBH--Thanks for everything... it was a true pleasure meeting all of you. Mer, a special thanks for lugging me around all weekend and devoting your time away from your S. Big hugs!
I had a really fun time and it was good getting away.
Ok, Bob put on her (his) smiley face when pulling into the garage--a little difficult because I had to pee really bad! I walked in the door and gave a VERY enthiastic "I'M HOME AND I MISSED YOU ALL!" greeting. D9 came running down the stairs and gave me big hugs and kisses.
I walked upstairs to my bedroom to find D6 sprawled in bed with a blanket and watching Cinderella 2 on Disney and Mr. W. slumped over in sleep. He had a severe case of bed head and smiled when I gave a less boisterous Bob Barker greeting.
It was now about 9:45 and we exchanged pleasantries (and he updated me on stuff) before announcing he really needed to get home to sleep.
I took things from there.
D9 ended up asking me if Mr. W. had called me at all on Saturday and I said no and asked her why. She told me, "Well now I'm really mad because I told him to call you." I asked what this was about, because her face was showing some sort of anger and belligerence....
She said, "I wanted you to tell him that it is true that I hate him so much." Uh oh.
I asked her to spill the beans--it took me about 15 minutes to get her to the point where she would tell me--and she finally blurted out, "Mom, I miss him SO much and want him to come home really bad, and it's looking like he never will."
I gave her a hug and told her that I understood, but asked her if it was really fair to everyone to lie to her dad about her feelings? She said when she isn't missing him and loving him, she really hates him...
I looked at the clock and said, "D9, it's now 10:35 and it's time to sleep. We'll talk about this more later, if you like."
About a half hour ago, I heard my office phone ring from the reception area and ran back in time to catch it before the caller hung up--it was Mr. Wonderful.
"Oh, Bets, it sounds like you're out of breath. Should I call you back?" He sounded happy and decisive. Hmmmm.
?????? I'm a little nervous now. I said, "No, I'm fine, I just ran from up front. What's up?"
MW: "Do you have a few minutes? Maybe you need to shut your door?" Uh oh.
Well, it turned out that he wanted to discuss the golf tournament. He needed my clarification on a few things and asked for my help as well (which I can do).
He made the segue into the weekend and told me what they had done over the weekend in my absence. D9 already gave me a thumbnail sketch, but he filled in the blanks.
A highlight: he took the girls to the gym at his apt complex, where they all worked out for an hour. He started laughing when telling me that D6 was using the bow flex, attached to 50 lb weights! OMG! I always knew she was strong, but I had no idea she could do this. He said they really worked hard for an hour.
I decided to ask him what his opinion was about D9 over the weekend? He spilled the beans...
MW: "Bets, I really don't know. I know that she was really missing you, though. She was VERY moody, and I couldn't seem to help her much."
Me: ? "Hmmm."
MW: "Saturday night I had invited Gary and Pam over for dinner as compensation for helping me move. Well, Gary had something come up with his brother at the last minute, so only Pam showed up. D9 remained in the bedroom and wouldn't come out for dinner. It was embarrassing me, and I finally told her that. I was very upset with her because she not only wouldn't talk to me, she treated Pam like crap."
Me: "I think I know, K."
MW: "What? Can you give me an idea?"
Me: "Mr. W., D9 might have had the impression that you are dating Pam. It probably made her feel really insecure and unhappy."
MW: "WHAT? Pam is only my friend. She knows this. For crying out loud, she's been on my bowling team forever. That is completely stupid."
Me: "Mr. W., if you are only friends with her, why not tell D9 that?"
MW: "Well, I'll have to clear this up tonight. For the record, Pam is only a friend."
Yes, I know this. D9 has told me that Pam and Gary have some attraction for each other...
Me: "I understand, and it really isn't my business. But if you would explain this to her, I think she would feel better and might give both you and Pam an apology."
MW: "How did you figure this out?"
Me: "It just makes sense to me. Oh, what is your side of the phone call thing?"
MW: "I really have no idea. She told me she hated me and wants you to confirm this."
Me: "K, she doesn't hate you at all. She misses you horribly and wants you home. This hurts her so much."
MW: "Well, she has a weird way of showing me this, even though I DO know she wants me to come home. She asks me when all the time. I'm still not ready."
Me: Avoiding the last comment because I know this. "Mr. W., she's a little girl and very confused and insecure. She hasn't gotten anywhere by being honest with you, so I'm guessing that telling you negative things gets you to listen to her more."
MW: "Um. You might be right."
Me: "She really doesn't hate you at all. She wants you home and with me. Can you see this?"
MW: "Um, yes. I get it."
Me: "But I'll talk to her about this some more too so you don't feel pressured with this subject every time I head out of town."
MW: "Thanks. To change the subject, are we still on for dinner tonight?"
Me: "Of course! Where do you want to go?
MW: "Since you're paying, I don't get a choice, right? (He was humorous and joking.)
Me: "It's your birthday, why wouldn't I let you pick? I was thinking either Black-Eyed Pea or Chili's, though if you want something else, that's fine."
MW: "Oh, I haven't been to BEP for a really long time. Their food is good and the girls like it too. That sounds like a good idea."
Me: "Okay. Black-Eyed Pea it is."
He then proceeded to tell me how he's made a resolution to get up and head into the workout room every other day because he feels so much better today. He sounded suprised that it made him feel (and sound) as good as he did.
All in all, a micro R talk without any drama. Who knows what will happen over the next few days...
That's it for now.
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
We can't conclude, just because Venus is now entering your sign, that your problems are over. We can't expect everything to be easy from now on. We can't be sure that your love-life will improve significantly. We can't state, unequivocally, that your finances are set to see a dramatic upturn. We can't guarantee that you will be full of brilliant ideas. We can't just assume that people will find you extraordinarily alluring and appealing. Yet given the power and the magic of this planet... We really can't rule any of it out, either!
Just for good measure...here is Virgo (my H) Confused? Surprised? Defensive? Events of last week may have led up to a tense or disorienting development, but you have no reason now to assume things are due to be difficult. All you have to do is put aside your preconceived idea about what is supposed to be happening, what you need or what you think you ought to be accomplishing. Be open to inspiration, be ready to respond to a new opportunity... and be ready to see, now, a simple solution to an old problem, right under your nose.
HERE IS MR. W'S
Forget about being your usual pragmatic and practical self. This month you're likely to be feeling dreamy and distracted (even confused). Hopefully this is because something (or someone) has inspired you into seventh heaven. If you're distracted by thoughts of cash and commitment though, stay calm until February 22. The times are a' changing and the best thing you can do is allow events to unfold. Once you've assessed the lay of the land, you'll be far better placed to act cleverly. This month, the New Moon takes place in the same celestial spot as exciting Uranus – so here’s a guide to what this February 20 lunation might mean to you over the following four weeks: The New Moon is in your 2nd House - what it means: It’s all about... your cash and property, talents and assets I believe in myself and what I have to offer and will show that to the world
This New Moon is the first one after your birthday. Over the past month, you’ve had a lot of the spotlight, as friends wished you Happy Birthday and told you how wonderful you are – now it’s time to make sure you really believe it! This New Moon gives you a special chance to take a look at your assets – and we’re not just talking about the ones in the bank. It’s deeper – and it’s about you and your self-worth and self-esteem. If you’ve been lagging a little in the self-confidence stakes, now is the time to talk yourself up a little – or perhaps it’s time for you to think more deeply about why you’re special to those around you. It’s also a great time to think about your talents and how you can use them. Having said al that, this New Moon does also bring your cash situation into the spotlight. Are you happy with your rate of pay? Do you feel confident about the way you have your finances ordered? If not, now is the perfect time to consult a financial advisor. Even if you don’t go that far, a review of your budget would pay you. New Moon Ritual: Write yourself an imaginary cheque for the amount of $$$ you need to earn
Things To Do
Start a savings account Pay your taxes/do your GST etc Hire an accountant, if it’s all too much Showcase your talents Get a neck and shoulder massage Invest in some expensive neck cream Make love in the countryside
So who is the ubiquitous "we" and why can't "they" guarantee anything for us? I'd like to have some guarantee of good changes... and since "they" can't rule it out, why can't we rule it in?
Quote: This month, the New Moon takes place in the same celestial spot as exciting Uranus
Really? How does this work when it's up Hisanus to begin with?
I say we all go with the massage recommendation and call it a day! (Though writing myself a really big check sounds like a whole lot of fun too... )
You are just too funny for words, CBH. You're blessed with an incredible sense of humor, and I wish your guy would see this for himself.
Ok, up for that massage now?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I'm glad you all got a chuckle out of CBH's horoscope for my darling Mr. Wonderful. I won't be checking Hisanus for any events, so we'll all have to go on my reports here to see if any of this comes true!
Well, I'm off to do dishes and tidy up the place here, but want to post now about our birthday dinner with Hisanus (oh, I mean Mr. Wonderful).
I got home and he was sitting at the computer (well, actually, a toned down version of Bob Barker showed up with me). My enthusiastic greeting was met with equal enthusiasm from my girls and nearly the same level of excitement from Mr. W. He announced clearly and happily that he was waiting for me to get home because he was hungry.
I asked if he had a few minutes to open up the bag of presents and card first, and he said yes. So we all sat down at the table while he did the honors. Mer, he laughed really hard at my stupid card... this was a good sign.
To all who have survived my gift dilemma, it was resolved in Motor City. You see, my guy is a 1950's car buff. We own a 1951 Studebaker Champion, which is in dire need of restoration.
I bought him a Studebaker service sign, and to say he was THRILLED was a gross understatement. I haven't seen such an effusive display of gratitude and happiness from him since the day I married him (and to all who want to know, he was madly in love with me then and beaming like a ray of sunshine then...).
Next was the classic cars book. Also met with wonder and amazement. (He was truly amazed that I had picked something he would love so much!) Well, geez, I've been married to him for almost 14 years, and I have not rewritten history or forgotten what he loves.
Last was the Model T tie, which he smiled and said he liked, though being a former GM subsidiary, didn't think would go over real well at work. He can wear it to DC comfortably and without repercussion.
Off we went to the restaurant--everyone was upbeat and chatty. Oh, he was wearing the faux suede shirt I bought him for Christmas--and he commented tonight how much he loves it.
Before dinner arrived, I decided to drop a one liner--in the vein of the old crazymaker Betsey but with a new twist. It was a complete 180 for me, and a true 180 over my entire 13+ year marriage to this guy.
He had just taken a sip of his cabernet when I announced that I thought he should keep the Studebaker rather than sell it to Gary's brother. He nearly spit, gasping loudly and saying, "Are you crazy? When the hell would I find time to work on it?"
I indicated that maybe we could juggle some of the vehicles or boat around so it could come back to the garage so he could work on it. He stared at me, making me feel as if I had grown 2 antlers... and I just sat there like an idiot with a smile. I told him it sounded like a worthwhile project and some fun.
I will tell you that this car has been a source of irritation for me since Day 1. When he first gave me my ring, he announced that he could have restored the car with what he paid for the diamond. I have never taken that well... so the car has been a sort of bone of contention between us.
Two months ago, he announced to me that he would probably never find time to work on it and that he was planning on selling it to Gary's brother as soon as he got the money together.
We'll see what happens as he thinks this one through.
Dinner was good--very upbeat and pre-separation normal with a happy twist. The waitress was from Scotland, and we ended up chatting with her about that and having a couple laughs. Then she brought out cake for all of us to share (D6 had most of it, though).
He asked about my trip, asking interested questions and seemed to be genuinely happy to hear about our trip to the Ford museum and all the other tidbits.
He came inside to pick up his mail (all cards from my side of the family) and was giving D9 a hug when I walked right over and jammed myself in his arms... letting him hug me tight... when I gave him a great big smooch on his cheek.
D9 was shocked and he seemed happy. We all wished him a happy birthday again and he said he'd see us tomorrow morning. He took out the trash on his way out the door...
Tomorrow is his actual birthday, so I'm afraid that Bob is going to have to make an appearance tomorrow morning (before coffee... UGH) and give another effusive display of birthday recognition.
Boy, is this one different than last year!
Before I forget, I did read HB's thread on the 6 stages of MLC. Don't know why I didn't see it before, but it was extremely informative. I believe that Mr. Wonderful is in Stage 5 (withdrawal), which explains quite a bit.
That's it from Bob's Denver HQ.
Fish sober still, and have got to keep swimming.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Keep up the good work!
I won't be checking Hisanus for any events, so we'll all have to go on my reports here to see if any of this comes true!