Yeah, we need some sort of "emergency chat line" on mobile, so we can pretend to get a text, but it's really advice!
So, I went, had a couple cups of coffee. Just chatted about kids and joked around mostly. Very light. Zero D or R talk except W commented about my attorney who is very tall and skinny, and said it was really a waste of time for us to go to that hearing. I kept the conversation a lot shorter this time, less than an hour, then said I needed to go do some work. W said, "You don't have to leave, why don't you just stay until you have to pick up the kids?" sheesh.
She did say she saw a baby the other day that had black hair and blue eyes (W's hair is almost black and I have very blue eyes). She kind of sighed and said, "You never know what the future holds for us." I told her that would be expensive and iffy - both of us have been "fixed". She said, "Well, we could adopt." I was like "Let's cross that bridge when we come to it!" - and changed the subject. awkward!
When I left, she gave me a hug, and REALLY hugged me. We've hugged a couple of times, and she'll participate, but it was like a pat on the back or something. Today, she liked wrapped both arms around me, and hung on - told me she could tell there was definitely less of me to hug! I've lost 25 pounds.
Only one other very interesting bit of conversation - quite honestly, in all of this flip-flopping and back and forth and everything W has said, THIS is the first thing that gives me a genuine bit of hope.
She brought up something that I did that really bugged her. I had canceled our basic cable; we never watched it except maybe once every couple of weeks, so was a waste of $27 a month to me. She said I never talked to her about it, and it was just one more thing that made her feel like she didn't matter. I thought we DID talk about it, but oh well. I validated that I could see how that would make her feel that way, and told her that my intention was just to cut wasteful spending, but I should have talked it over with her. She said, "I forgive you for it, but it doesn't mean I don't trust you to not do it again." I said, "I appreciate you forgiving me, and it's OK that the trust isn't there, because trust takes time." She looked at me, and said, "I know. It's coming."
To me, THAT'S a good word. I'm gonna go lie down somewhere!
