NEW LIFE / NEW ME - TAKING OFF!

[Fartiltre]

Sandi,

I think the better term would be closer to "detached" instead of staying dark.

Yes, definitely – it was more a joke than a serious statement! I am aware that I can’t go dark.
I am working hard on only contacting her about children or money and I believe I am doing just fine, but W and I still talk most the days.
It seems like our meet-up Saturday has stopped her invitations for now.
I do feel much more relaxed talking to her.

That's why I have tried to encourage you about the way you or tone you speak to her...and looking into her eyes, etc.

When looking at how her tone of voice affected me I really understand this now.
Do you believe that a man’s tone of voice can affect a woman in the same way as the opposite way around?

You've made great strides in the last few weeks. I wish I could tell you that this will all turn out like you want it to, but that's just something none of us know.
Do you feel better about yourself and how you are choosing to deal with your stitch?

Thanks for the kind words – it really means A LOT!
I feel so much better! I feel I have gained some control over me and my life again.
I feel as an attractive, confident manly man again. (W can properly still kill this in a moment) My strength, confidence, self-worth is increasing. I like my new looks and style in clothing.
My worries are shifting from W to more common things like health, finance, time and so on.
Still a very long way to go, but compared to three months ago I can’t even describe the difference. Her moving out and you and others helping me since then have made a humongous difference to me. The last days have been hard but it’s still nothing compared to earlier.

Nobody knows how things will turn out, but the path I am on is definitely the right one for me and for the children. That’s the important part. I also feel this path is the right one if R is ever to happen. I still feel I have a lot of patience left and as long as I can keep my hope up I will continue the waiting.
Unfortunately I don’t see W moving towards me at all, but my sit is still young. I still try to keep my hopes up, but looking at this objectively I believe I need a little miracle – but these do happen.

I am also sorry to admit but the feeling of having something (cake) that she wants is quite nice. I guess I am not supposed to feel this way but still I do.

I have one other question, and please don't get upset b/c I'm just asking. Have you given any thought to going out with another lady sometime in the near future? I mean like just a causal, friendly dinner?

You have to explain this to me: Why would I get upset?

And then the question:
Off course I have – I am a guy! I have also made further thoughts – still a guy
I haven’t done anything towards this, but the considering.

I spoke with my shrink last time about this and she told me to enjoy life. Her words were something like “Well, F – I don’t think you should get hooked up at the moment but I don’t see anything wrong with enjoying life”. (She doesn’t know anything about this forum or DB since I haven’t told her.)
I have been thinking a lot about these words. To be totally honest I would simply love an evening (and night) with a pleasant woman. Sex isn’t that big an issue but good conversation, holding hands, closeness, waking up together and so on I really miss. It’s kind of funny since I pursued W for sex and totally left her dangling on all the other accounts for so long.

One major problem is time! I feel I have been so busy. Either I am a dad focusing on my children or a single guy focusing on GAL with friends, house renovation, reading, work and so on. My weekends until mid-December are booked with at least one thing per weekend.

Another issue if this should be done, is that I don’t know any single lady that I would like to eat a casual dinner with. That’s solvable, but it will take a little time and a shift in the focus I have. I simply don’t look at other women in “that” way. I hope this makes sense.

As I have read these boards this isn’t recommended in general – but I would love to have your opinion!
I understand the possibility of a casual dinner or a night turning in to something else and more. I also realize that I am not even close to being at that point. I still want W back and even if I didn’t I would still need time for me.
Would a casual dinner be good for me at this moment in your opinion?

I haven’t addressed the Christmas issue! Do you have any suggestions on this one after reading about my interactions with W the last week.