Hi Bets, I've been kinda down in the dumps lately, so this post may be more negative than warranted, ok?
I am all for making these men feel validated, appreciated,acts of serviced and quality times. Not to forget affirmed.
BUT, what I have seen too often is that some people get this for a long long time, yet they never seem to respond by becoming more giving themselves in the ways that would best fill our love banks.
I recall too many times when my X would give me the oppposite of what I sweetly asked for....PA all the way. It sort of can be a catch 22. WE do things, get told we are controlling and manipulative. We don't do things, and are told we are lazy and selfish. Of course the happy medium is reciprocal, and not keeping score. I wonder if some people are programmed to NOT respond, but only take?
We can only do so much. We need to be met partway. And then there is the old PA truism to hold their feet to the fire. I used that rarely, Bets...but when I did, it worked....of course the catch 22 came into play when I am sure I was punished somewhere down the road for it.
I read and copied 'just for the morning' and am sending it to my baby girl. I look at my friends and see some decent marriages, but also illnesses, lost children, dead children....and I've come to decide that if I had to lose something in this life I've had, I would rather 1 million times over lose my marriage than my child. Every time I start to complain I think of my best friend who lost her child....and I have to consider myself lucky, at that.
