Hello, this is my first post. I have been working with a DB coach for several months because my H of over 20 years dropped the bomb that he had been mtg with an old flame 3 times over the past 3 years. I found out they had been communicating 8 months prior, but he never admitted to more than that. Finally he told me in Feb minutes before he had to leave to go out of town (coward!) because he said he finally felt I had to know the truth. At first I wanted things to work between us, but now I am not so sure if I want to stay. He says he has always cared for her and always will, but he loves me. I feel I dont deserve to have the shadow of an old flame hovering over me. Have 3 kids, so that makes me want to try to work it out, but issue is complicated because we have a child recently diagnosed with a chronic illness, plus my husband is away a lot right now on business, this is what made it so easy for him to cheat. Our focus the last few months has been getting our child well and I have not had the emotional energy to deal with my H affair and how it has hurt me, and this all occurred within one months time. My life has been turned upside down, and I need to make a decision in the next few months because we are supposed to move. He says he will be devestated by a divorce, but I am not so sure, he said that once. He never wants to talk about "it", I wish he was more demonstrative toward me. I would especially appreciate a mans's point of view. Is it normal and ok to still have feelings for another person but also love and want to be with your wife?? Thanks!
