Well, he finally got the money into the account, and just in the nick of time - rent check went through the next morning. He'd asked me to let him know when it got in, so I did. I took that opportunity to ask him to call me later in the week so that we could discuss the holiday sitch, and he said he'd call Thursday. He didn't, but honestly, I knew he wouldn't. I'm holding firm on not contacting him unless absolutely necessary (such as the money issues a few days ago), so I won't be reminding him again. I figure I'll give him until the end of the month to call so that we can discuss this and come to a mutual agreement - after that, I will go ahead and make plans for the boys and I to go to my mom's Christmas Eve. We'll be home for Christmas day, I'll make a nice dinner, and H is welcome to come over if he likes. If these arrangements don't suit him, well, that's too bad. I've given him the opportunity to play an active role - if he chooses not to do that, it's on him.
It's funny how much he's retreated since we last saw each other nearly 3 weeks ago. He had called and wanted to see us, so I took S15 to the restaurant for dinner. After dinner, H took a break, and we all took a walk downtown. H asked me if I wanted to take our son home and come back after restaurant closed so we could have some alone time. I said that sounded fine. Well, we ended up in bed - more accurately, we ended up ML in the office (which he shares with Dishrag). I know I shouldn't have done it, but I was lonely and weak, and there was alcohol involved. It was also fantastic, but I guess that's not the point. Anyway, since then, he has been avoiding like crazy. I like to think that he's retreating because it felt right, and that confused him. And I like to think that's the same reason he doesn't seem to ever want to come here, to our house. Because when he has come here, he's seemed very relaxed and happy. Total opposite of when I see him in the town he's staying - always very stressed and down. It messes up the narrative that he's constructed - he loves me, but something "doesn't feel right."
