@AS - I don't think I'll let it go that far. We never had a problem on the physical side, actually the opposite, but it's a pretty major emotional connection for W, and I don't want to mess up her head anymore. But labug REALLY was hilarious...
I'm not going to lie, ML while separated was some of the best ever for my W and I.
From here it just seems so early in your sitch, and running back to each other occasionally only resets the clock this early in the game, IMHO.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
Meh, ML has been fantastic every day up until the BD, and even then a couple weeks later. W told me that we made ML more in the first 3 months of our marriage than her entire life. So that has never been an issue - even up until 6 weeks ago.
I'm more worried about it causing a problem by causing incorrect emotions in W.
I told her that I wasn't sure about tomorrow - that work has been really pushing me, so I'll see.
Also, oddly, S-D10 called me tonight, just sobbing over D13 not having a sleepover this weekend. I told her D13 was in trouble over homework and chores, so I think I got the drama under control. I believe D10 is about to hit "womanhood", so the hormones are pretty crazy. W has never dealt with this before, so I'm honestly sort of worried about W being her role model right now.
I have to realize this is not under my control. I told W what I had talked to S-D10 tonight, and that I had told her that D13 was in trouble, but she needed to have a woman-to-woman talk to D10.
So as of now, I'm out. Unless W calls me and pushes it, I'm not going to coffee tomorrow. Thanks for the input, but I've realized my kids need my attention at the moment, not subject to the whims of a WAW.
I've decided just now - I won't go. It is 9:30PM on Thursday night, and quite honestly, W is messd up.
S5 hollered tonight that W had a "boyfriend named V..." - the guy I've suspected of EA. D10 piped up " Yeah, I thought V (EA) was a boyfriend, too, but Mommy said, 'no way'." So, where there is smoke, there's fire.
So I told W that work has been slamming me, so I probably won't show up; because I need to catch up with work. What I'm sure that I can't indulge in some mindreading: W had an emotional EA, met EA in person, and was like "Oh, he's gross", and now doesn't know what to do.
So, I've texted D10 and said, "hey, call me if you're sad or need some snuggling." That's where I'm gonna leave it for now.
If W wants to stay with greasy, gross EA, then she/he can have him. I don't care anymore.
Jon be very careful making decisions based on emotions. Also be careful making too much of what the kids are saying. Emotional decision making seems to be your achilles heel. Do not confront w about mr ea.... Leave that alone
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
Yeah, I was just mad, thought W was lying. She found out they said that and called me and said, "EA is not even my type, and although he has been a good friend, I've never been even emotionally involved with him.". I told her that something was making the kids think that, and D10 is pretty sharp. W just said she likes EA's sister, and EA has a daughter S5s age, so someone for him to play with.
I have a bunch of female friends. At one time, my kids thought that one of them was a girl friend. Not even close.
Some opposite sex friendships can put a lot of strain on an M and I have a lot of mixed feelings about them. This might be an interesting topic for another thread. Nonetheless Jon, I don't think your w is interested in this guy for a physical relationship. Possibly this guy is interested in your w and she likes the attention and that is about it.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
Good point, I do as well, I just don't hang out with single girls! . I realized I would have been more upset about W lying to me, and jerking me around than an actual EA. Go figure.
--------------- Ironically, I just DBed XW1! She works nights and hates her job, and just landed a much better job, and told me about it. I don't really see her much, but I listened, validated her skills, congratulated her, etc. I didn't even realize it until after.
You really do learn skills for life from DB outside of your W!!
So the coffee date has come and gone and you didn't go...?
If not, then did anything happen?
I suspect she probably sent texts lashing out at you because you turned her down. Just a hunch. :P
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
