I worry about not having him in my life. I worry about if he's cheating on me or not. I worry that he'll never love me again. It's these self-defeating thoughts that I have to get rid of. And, that is TOUGH.
It is a process, Angela. Here's the thing. Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go and making changes can.
The thing to remember is that anything you did or didnt do in your marriage was never with the intent to cause harm to it or your h. You did the best you could with the tools and knowledge you had at the time. And because of all that, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
