I think the better term would be closer to "detached" instead of staying dark. About the only way a man can successfully go dark is when there is absolutely no contact of any type from either side. It's like dropping off the face of the earth! A few years ago, I noticed a newcomer using the term "going gray", which was supposed to be his version of not being quite dark. Shortly afterwards, others started referring to the gray....which I'll have to admit, really irritated me for some reason. Isn't it funny how we humans can put so much into how somebody says something? Like, how it made you feel when you heard your W speak in her "sweet" tone of voice? That's why I have tried to encourage you about the way you or tone you speak to her...and looking into her eyes, etc. You may never know how it affects her.....just as she probably didn't know how hers affected you when she told you about the babysitting. (Or maybe she did! )
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I think I find myself in a new kind of roller coaster. It is no longer controlled by her sayings or doings. It is now controlled by my own feelings for her and life without my family.
You've made great strides in the last few weeks. I wish I could tell you that this will all turn out like you want it to, but that's just something none of us know. Do you feel better about yourself and how you are choosing to deal with your stitch?
I have one other question, and please don't get upset b/c I'm just asking. Have you given any thought to going out with another lady sometime in the near future? I mean like just a causal, friendly dinner?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Isn't it funny how we humans can put so much into how somebody says something? Like, how it made you feel when you heard your W speak in her "sweet" tone of voice? 
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