I texted W this morning at 7AM D4 stays home today. She is quite ill. I think you forgot to put socks for D6 in the bag. It will be hard for her not to have these.
W called shortly after and we spoke a little about D4s asthma. Then she asked if it would be all right if she put the socks in D6s locker at school. I agreed to that.
Half an hour later I received a text “Socks are in the locker :-)”
At 11AM she calls and asks about D4s health. We talked shortly and she asked if D4 wanted to talk. She did; so W and her chatted for some minutes and then they hung up.
Everytime we talk I try hard to stick to children and money. She seems to be doing the same but still she also tells me about something that she is doing alone or with children. She is sharing a (very) little part of her life.
Otherwise a nice day. Ds and I got apples from the garden and made a huge apple cake. Neighbors came over for coffee and cake.
I also got a call from Ws cousin this evening. He will visit me on Sunday – it will be nice seeing him again.
I am still trying to get the focus back on me. I find it hard! Other than DBing in general I do not feel I am doing things to “win” back W but I sure am thinking a lot about her and missing her a lot these days. I have been thinking a lot about the changes I have made. Are those truly me or am I just doing things because I want her to know that I am doing great and for her to miss me. After evaluating I have come to the conclusion that I am doing things for me (and children) but at the same time I do hope these things will help my sit. I think I find myself in a new kind of roller coaster. It is no longer controlled by her sayings or doings. It is now controlled by my own feelings for her and life without my family.
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
