T, I think it's time to send her flowers. Do you know what her favorite flowers are? I would definitely have the card say "Happy Birthday! from all of us boys in her home". I think she would love to have them...but keep everything else simple that day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
