WH - I do understand - my xh was one of those with whom there really was no scope for dialogue as, it seemed to me then, and now, he just wanted to make me into Mrs Horrible to justidy what he was doing. In eight years (OMG it really is that long) sadly nothing has really changed. He is now superficially nice, but the moment I show a sign of not agreeing that all that he did was right, good, necessary and wholly justified he gets very very unpleasant again . . . . Some of them just never seem to get it.
But the good thing is that we are OK, hard though it is.
