Sorry about the kid situation. She is NOT being fair. I hate when the kids start getting used my the parents, especially the WAS. Looks to me like you are in the right mindset but I am not sure what to say about her.
Maybe someone who has been in this situation will have more ideas. So I am going to bump your thread up.
Have a great day, do something fun just for you!
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
