2 year A confirmed

[complicated]

Thanks RL for stopping by. Yes, that is indeed what he meant but it changes daily.

Somedays he realizes he's a fool for what he is doing others it's all my fault.

So D21 tells me that OW broke it off! I don't know if this has anything to do with D21's messages to her or if she is just tired of waiting. Apparently H also told D21 he was done because he thinks he only has about 20 years left and he doesn't want to take the chance of being unhappy with me. I guess he feels giving it 6 months to a year his life will be almost over.

H has been ignorant to me lately so I have stepped back and detaching AGAIN. I thank him when he does something to help out at the house but that's about it.

What he is the most angry with is that the kids seemed to know things about OW. I told H that when you don't spend any time with the kids they figure you are with OW and it is still going on. You're giving me too much credit. The other thing is D21 is older and we would talk. D21 was very hurt that her relationship with her Dad had come to this.

Like everyone on here I felt like I was done AGAIN. But especially knowing that they have broken it off AGAIN I will sink in and detach and hang in there. I keep thinking of the kids.

D19 is having issues too. She has been unhappy, not knowing why and just broke it off with her bf of 2 years. Says she wants to enjoy college life and I totally agree with that. I can't help but think that all the BS that is happening with her dad and I is contributing to her stress level. Plus she has been injured and is trying to play collegiate soccer through pain. I read that affairs and divorces put a huge stress on older kids and most people think they can handle it with no issues. She is one that likes to please and not upset people so I think she is taking it extra hard.

So I think this weekend I'm going to enjoy a weekend with D19 and have some mom and me time. We couldn't do it a couple of weeks ago and I think it will help her.

Otherwise enjoyed watching the playoffs with a bunch of friends last night. It is nice seeing guys flirt with me but honestly right now I feel like I need to focus on myself and my kids. Mentally I don't think I could handle a relationship especially knowing my heart is really still with H.