PM - Sounds like you are living up to your screen name. I think you are doing amazing and hope that you continue.
The squirrel analogy I remember well and it is fitting, AS I think?
Anyways, I hope you find some peace.
It's not over until you decide it is.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Welcome back from DB Jail I too represent a failure in my wifes eyes.....A now 191 lb, blue eyed, starting to get toned, intelligent, successfully employed, publicly elected, awesome father............symbol of FAILURE
BTW- you can compile quite the long adjective list for yourself my friend!
Dont let the mind games get you. We lose our patience once and say something like " What the F are we doing? " and hellllllllo setback.
I think ill learn to stitch or knit.....it gets cold up here- perhaps i can knit you all some fine hats and mittens?......maybe quilting- perhaps ill dig into an old set of funk and wagonals encyclopedias. Itll be a long winter and ill have some time on my hands.
ARE GNC products decent quality?????
That sense of humor of yours is a great gift.
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
I don't take any GNC products, but I am very selective about the supplements I take. I could regurgitate what I have heard (some are good, some are not so good...GNC uses different producers for different products it sells under the GNC label, so it really depends upon which product you are looking into taking), but that's just hearsay as I don't have any specific research links pertaining to them to give to you. My general rule with GNC products is if I'm in a pinch I would purchase them and have no worries, but they aren't my first choice.
What are you looking at taking? How are your fitness goals progressing?
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
1) Had an awesome night with the girls last night, even though I didn't get home from work until late. We had a great devotional time, starting a new book. At bedtime everyone was in good spirits. I got to spend some one-on-one time with each of the older two before lights-out and had fun with each...was able to get great laughs out of both of them. I haven't heard the oldest one laugh like that at me in awhile, and my heart was warm.
2) I've been intentionally pushing the oldest out of her comfort zone in several areas of her life. She has responded well with some experiments and not so well with others, but that's beside the overarching point that is building up her self-confidence. I'm diligent and purposeful and calculated, and I'm constantly evaluating myself to see if I'm pushing her too hard or not enough. We've had a lot of talks over the last few months, just me and her, and I know - like any other 12 year old - that she'd rather be anywhere else than hearing a long lecture from her dad, but she seems to be starting to get it...the why of what I'm doing, even if she doesn't like it or agree with it.
3) XW is definitely not ready. I think I need to back off more again, but (maybe) differently.
4) I seem to have trouble actually saying that I'm divorced to people out loud. Not to people who already know, but to people who don't. It's interesting because it isn't that I care what they think, it's just that I don't want to talk about it. So people will reference my "wife" and I just don't correct them. Or I'll refer to her by her name.
5) Busy schedule. Work and exams and kids and travel and moving this weekend. Inhale...exhale. All is well.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
The squirrel analogy I remember well and it is fitting, AS I think?
"If you try to feed a squirrel by hand, you have to hold perfectly still. It will slowly come to you, but even if you don't move, it will sometimes get scared and retreat. But it will return and get a little closer each time. If you get impatient and make any move towards it, it will quickly run the other way and the entire process starts all over again from the beginning. But if you remain patient, it will come closer and closer until it will finally reach out to you."
I didn't come up with the original concept, I wrote the above after hearing a lot of people say "it's like feeding a squirrel"
Originally Posted By: PatientMan
4) I seem to have trouble actually saying that I'm divorced to people out loud. Not to people who already know, but to people who don't. It's interesting because it isn't that I care what they think, it's just that I don't want to talk about it. So people will reference my "wife" and I just don't correct them. Or I'll refer to her by her name.
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I'm not D'd, but after over a year of S it seems odd to hear her referred to as my W. So when people say something about my "wife", I almost feel like I need to correct them and let them know we haven't lived together as H and W for quite some time. But I don't, I just let it go. Feels strange though.
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I'm not D'd, but after over a year of S it seems odd to hear her referred to as my W. So when people say something about my "wife", I almost feel like I need to correct them and let them know we haven't lived together as H and W for quite some time. But I don't, I just let it go. Feels strange though.
Yes, I've been separated for 9 months now and it doesn't feel right to refer to my STBX as my W either.
I'm saying the opposite. I still instinctively refer to her as my W and don't bother correcting people who call her that or say I am married. I let it slide because I don't want to open the door to having to talk about it.
Thanks,
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I started with a new Men's Bible Study and this was the second week. The first week we all had brief introductions, and this week we took more time for each person to give more of a history and an in-depth self analysis. I didn't mention my divorce last week, but I did this week. I figure it's something I need to start getting used to doing.
If I can continue my previous list:
6) I still suffer from ""the stupidness". It's ridiculous and she isn't "helping" a lot, so I need to exercise some self discipline.
7) It's time for a another 180. Something I had planned to do and just let slide.
8) I just read through my own threads again and suggest it for anyone who's been here more than a few months and posting regularly. See where you were versus where you are now. Are you progressing/growing? Are you meeting goals? Are you stuck in the mud? It's a good reminder of your progress, or a good reminder that you need to do something different if you aren't progressing.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I'm going to add water to my mudd and see if that helps.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
