Sad morning after last night...it still blows my mind how this man who used to love me with all his heart feels no remorse. However, I know that he has to walk his own journey and I have to walk mine.
I have been having a hard time not planning the future. I am a planner and love looking forward to vacations and fun adventures. With everything up in the air and just living in crisis mode, I have shut down all thoughts about the future.
But I did something crazy this morning...I booked a trip to Disney for the kids and myself for next September. Disney has held a big place in my heart. H and I got engaged there and enjoyed several fun trips alone and with the kids. The boys have been begging to go again. H and I had talked about taking the kids next year. I decided that even if H is not in the picture, I can still take my boys and have an excellent time. We can make new memories that will last a lifetime. So this morning when I received an email with an excellent discount, I called and put a hold on a room. It is fully refundable and I can make changes or cancel all together if it is not doable next year.
I need to learn that no matter what happens, I will be able to make amazing memories on my own with the kids. We will make plans together and have things to look forward to. I know that come September 2014, I will be proud of the journey that I have taken (regardless of where it leads) and I will have a blast!!
