Like 25 always says, lose the scorecard. No one here has said your W is blameless, all we've been saying is your posts have been almost solely focused on blaming your W for everything while owning none of your own faults. Even in this post you say you did have your faults, "BUT..." Whenever you say "but" you negate everything before it. DB'ing is all about owning your faults, forgiving your spouse for theirs, and moving on to make yourself the best possible person you can. You have never owned your faults because in your eyes, your W's faults are worse. What we're telling you is her faults DO NOT MATTER. Those are HERS to own. They are HER roadblock to being the best possible person she can be. You've got to focus on your faults and let hers go.
I don't know why, but today this rings pretty loudly in my ears. I really think I have been defensive during a lot of this, because I feel that Wife and I have been on opposing teams. Every time someone points out one of my flaw, I scored one for wife. Therefore, I had to knock her down a notch by pointing out her flaws....dumb!.....Thanks for this one, AS. Makes great sense!
