CBH & Myrrh--Well, validation is only hokey if you're not sincere (and I know that you are both sincere). It loses its true intent when it's made to get something from someone else.
I have been accused of lots of things, but flattery is not one of them!
The taxes thing really does have my goat, because I know that he sees things in black and white and NEVER asks questions. I have a few friends who are CPAs who ask me fairly often, doesn't Mr. W. realize that there are all sorts of loopholes and that most everything is not cut and dried?
It used to make me mad, because year after year, we'd continue to shell out $3-5K on top of what is already withheld. Every year he would have a "rational" explanation on why we were the only people we knew who had to pay that much more.
My dear friend has offered every year to do our taxes for free, but he will not budge.
So, yes, part of me is really angry that he refuses to think outside the box and ask questions. (But really, this doesn't surprise me now at all--he keeps asking himself the same questions and seems shocked that the answers don't change...)
However, I knew that my constant harping on him doing them incorrectly hurt him. He felt as if I was attacking him and insinuating that he didn't have intelligence to complete a tax return. While I wasn't trying to convey THAT message, that's all he received.
So every year at tax time, he's on edge and so am I. I am definitely the shark in waiting because every time he has to give me the bad news, I explode. Now that we have a war to pay for, I don't think this year is going to be any different for our financial sitch.
However, I can (and will) change my reaction to his news.
The moral of my own story is to validate that he thinks he's taking care of us by completing the tax return himself and I must thank him for it--even when I know my friend's go at it would make me feel better.
Another day in the life of the ocean.
TTFN,
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
