I was doing great until tonight. I had IC and she mentioned that she noticed a difference. She could see some of the happiness I have found and see me building strength and that I am really working in me. I left feeling good and headed to me new yoga class which was excellent.
My H was at the house watching the kids. We talked about the kids and their night. H mentioned a class that he had taken today and I asked how it went. He mentioned needing to do homework for his class tomorrow. Without thinking I asked how he was getting to class because he can't drive on Thursdays (part of punishment for DUI). He responsed that OW was driving him (they work together and it is a work related class). I instantly wished that I could have taken back the question. I did not even think before I asked because we have spent so much time talking about driving arrangements and kids because of his driving situation. I told H that I appreciated his honesty and simply stated I would be lying if I said that it does not hurt. He followed with his general "I am not trying to hurt you and I have no way else to get there because no one else knows about the DUI.). I let him end the conversation. No crying telling or anything.
Ahhh...how do you keep DBing without being a doormat. I know I should not have said anything and made it look like I could care less, but I just hate that he thinks he can do as he pleases. I know I can't change his actions and how he thinks but how do I get to the point of not feeling like a doormat?
