Living My Life

[littleGTO]

PS- I think your on-line name should be positive spin!!!

If I ever go on-line I will probably use turtlegirl or little GTO...I've gotten attached to these identities!!

Interesting...so I come home with 2/3 of my boys from a ball game this evening and go for a walk (too dark to bike). H comes by to drop off S11 while I am gone (I walked for 1/2 hour). So, he comes looking for me in the neighborhood (he travels the OPPOSITE direction to go back to his aptmt)..wonders why I've been gone so long!!!

I could be having a fling with cute guy and IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS ANY MORE!!! He seemed relieved to find me walking.

I find it ironic that he does whatever he wants (and I really don't care what that is any more) and yet he is SOOOOO concerned about what I'm doing. I don't get this at all!

Had lunch w my 2 co-workers and both of them told me that they think I will be in another R before the end of this school year. I guess time will telll! That actually makes me feel like there is a light at the end of this tunnel if I can just get through it without getting stuck or finding a little hole to crawl into during the journey.

I am just not a person who likes to be alone. I enjoy my alone time in small doses (like when I work out/go for a bike ride). I have reflected on my life and I have pretty much ALWAYS had a boyfriend or dated.

Before I met my H I had dated and was engaged to another man for 4 1/2 years! I had a short transitional R right away after I broke off the engagement and then met H shortly after that.

Some people think we need to be alone after such a long R... but I feel like I've been alone, NO, I HAVE been alone for almost 2 years- emotionally. So, even though I am not yet D'ed, I don't think I need a long grieving period--I've already done that.

Just need to decide WHEN I am ready to pull the plug. Not easy to make that final decision...it is so permanent .