I am furious that your wife would have a "divorce" discussion w/your children w/o you present. That is very low and creates more harm than good. I am very sorry that she did this and she hasn't a clue as to what a divorce does to children and, no, they won't get over it and bounce back.

You are a wonderful father and I'm glad you had a discussion w/them and hopefully they will feel comfortable talking to you about things. I just feel terrible about this.

Definitely set on the sidelines and allow her to do the heavy work on the divorce. She wants it, she darn well be ready to do the work. It's not something you snap your fingers and poof! It's done.

Please take care of yourself and your little ones. We are here for you.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.