Has anyone ever seen the old movie "If a man answers"? If not, I would suggest it as a rental - it will make you laugh, if nothing else. I don't know, Bets. If you start with the secret admirer shtick, you have to walk a REALLY fine line, I think. I have to agree with Cycler in that it may cause more problems than its worth. If you do decide to send yourself flowers, have Meredith send you a loveletter, etc, just don't get too carried away - it sounds like it could be a tempting trap for crazymaking - just be careful. Make sure you aren't just doing it because things aren't going fast enough for you... ((((((Betsey)))))) Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
I know, I know. I told you that I was thinking pathetically, didn't I? I'm going to opt to check out Pam's advice about the mystery thread. That seems much more doable.
I learned a long time ago that being truthful was the only way I could go. That way I don't have to remember any discrepancies.... plus I'm a horrid liar.
After telling my colleague about last night's post and Mr. W.'s efforts to stall me, I realized that this is really the case.
He's hanging around Gary and the other high school mentality bunch because they offer no cerebral stimulation or force him to think about important things. Unless Gary gets a girlfriend, he's going to encourage Mr. W. to remain where he is, because he will lose a constant companion.
D9 told me last night that she thinks there is no way in Hades that Gary is going to get a girlfriend. I looked at her funny and she grinned from ear to ear and said, "Mom, I may be only 9, but I know a loser when I see one. And he's a loser. He's nice, but he's still a loser."
Ha ha!
So why would he devote so much energy to fighting his attraction for me and his willingness to make it a go? Is it because I don't walk into a room and lift my leg to fart? Is it because I don't make drawn out belches? Or because I don't stand up to pee?
What gives?
PIB, what does Monkey say about why he strived so hard to achieve that aloofness? I'm very curious, because I think it will help me stay more patient.
So here's this morning's journal.
I was leaning over the counter reading Home Magazine (my favorite) when he walked through the door this morning. Morning is really his time, and he's usually much nicer. This morning was consistent.
He said hello and then commented that he didn't sleep well. I looked up at him and asked why not (very compassionately, BTW)? He said the heat went out and it was 60 degrees when he looked at the thermostat. Phone Betsey (not Bob Barker--it was too early for Bob to show up) spoke and said she was sorry in a validating sort of way.
He asked what I was reading, so I showed him the article about how someone had turned a SF Victorian house consisting of 2 flats into a house. He actually leafed through the pictures.
If anything, we both love remodeling projects and visions of reconstruction. Why can't we work on this together, starting with our house?
He asked me how the girls slept. I told him that D9 started watching some Rob Schneider movie (Dog Days or something like that?) and then D6 and I watched it. There are times in the movie where Rob acts as an animal, and D6 howls (she loves animals and anthing related to them). I finally turned off the TV at 10:40 and she promptly fell asleep... and was still asleep when he asked.
He smiled and commented that he loves her laugh--it's so infectious and cute and the only indicator we have of her voice. He also said he wasn't surprised that she found the movie entertaining... she has a knack for loving really stupid shows/movies (uh, sorry Hud... the Stooges apply here).
Anyway, I think it's time to make another phone appt with Laurie to keep me moving forward.
Thanks to all who stopped by today and last night.
I'll get there one of these days...
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
PIB, what does Monkey say about why he strived so hard to achieve that aloofness? I'm very curious, because I think it will help me stay more patient.
He said that he didn't want to lead me on and hurt me more.
He also said he was scared that my changes weren't real...and that if he did take the leap of faith to live with me, that we'd just end up in the same place again.
As I proved myself over time, those struggles of his to not show his love failed more and more often.
Hmmmm. And hopeless limbo is kinder and more humane to us?
No, but he was still convinced that we were headed towards Divorce.
He was aware that Limbo land was a particularly difficult place for me to reside.
He's a very logical person. He tries so hard to not let his emotions rule him. So, he was 99.9% sure we were going to get divorced...but because he wasn't 100% sure, opted for limbo land. Which of course was all the opening I needed to get us to where we are today!
It obviously took him a long time to see that the 99.9 % of divorce was dropping in bits in peices until he got to the point of 1% chance for divorce.
Monkey's logic reminds me of the fact that a mere few months ago, Mr. Wonderful was using statistical formulas to predict the possibilities of dire consequences if he chooses to D.
He had worked on the formulas for the next 7 years, and they looked bad, so he quit...
At first, I was aghast. But in a few short minutes, I doubled over in laughter (he was gone by then). How totally engineer-like and scientific... and how ludicrous. I don't even know how he came up with some variables to plug into that nightmare equation.
While I agree that time is my best friend and that there is time for this to play out if I remain patient and continue working on my Bob Barker-like approach, part of me wonders if I'm hanging in there so I can remain married to the biggest bozo and fool on earth.
I'm pretty sure that I could find a red wig for him to wear while he works on these logical math equations to apply to real life.
I wonder if he figured out how to blast me off into space too?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Bets - Because of your history of the EA - you don't really want to go too far with the appearance of dating thing. I would nix the idea of cards etc. Just try going out a lot with girlfriends, being slightly mysterious, getting a life - let him wonder a little bit but have a perfectly innocent explanation available so he can feel silly about doubting you.
